This weekend was rough, I definitely was a big fat scared-y cat and I am truly disappointed in myself for it. I had decided that I would take a practice exam on Saturday, and couldn’t focus, aka I was scared, and cleaned my room thoroughly. I scrubbed the floors and put away ALL my clothes and reorganized my desk. I also sat in front of my computer for about…3o mins, staring at the computer screen, unwilling to press the start button. I don’t know what came over me, studying has been going well, but I don’t think I’m pushing myself enough and that is why I was scared to take it. What if I didn’t do well? What I should have realized was that taking the test would have helped me to see where I am and what I need to work on. Perhaps I will take one on Wednesday, that might be good for me. The only thing is, it will have to be right after work and I will already be tired, but it will be worth it.
I feel like I’m hitting that hump of studying, well no, not hump, but the motivation is starting to dwindle down, but I need to push it into gear. I can’t believe I am starting to lose focus, this is not good. I have to keep up a good regimen, especially with my impending trip to India. I need to remind myself why this is important and that I can do it. I must believe in me, that’s the biggest thing. My first practice exam will probably go horrible (not including the first first one I took but this one is my FIRST computer adaptive exam simulation test). I need to stop being a perfectionist and take the good with the bad. I CAN DO IT!
It seems most of my blog posts have been about GREs and I apologize, but it’s a part of my journey. I feel frustration, I feel anger, I feel hope, I feel motivated, I feel unmotivated, basically I feel every emotion. I can do it though, I know I can. I just have to keep believing it. I need to be better at time management and money management, but that is a whole other post.
Let’s get on with the good moments:
1. Cleaned my room, it looks so nice!
2. Did more flash cards – not what I wanted but I did review over antonyms and analogies and studied vocab words
3. Hung out with Jainy, Nisha, Sevwandi, and Achyutha – good times and good laugh
1. Lunch with Pooja and Sunil – so good seeing you guys!
2. Got my mom an iPad! I am loading it up with lots of fun stuff for her 🙂
3. Dinner with Jainy – very good one on one catch up with the jainism, I miss you like crazy 😦
1. A beautiful sunny day in SF – had a nice walk to get lunch
2. Feel good at work, I feel like I am productive at work and just on top of my game. I feel needed at work, is that crazy? Haha
3. A good convo with the kiddos, they are such good kids, and today they realized how much they have in common, even though they live in totally different neighborhoods, they have a lot in common and for them to realize that was awesome – that they share a common bond 🙂
Okay, I am off to study land!!