Happy

There is not other way to describe what I feel, but happy. I feel blessed to have the friends and family that I do. My birthday has been nothing but fabulous: fantastic lunch with the parents and A, three cakes, fun parties, treated to dinner by my kids, A surprising me at volleyball, friends coming out to celebrate…honestly, what more could I ask for?

All I can do is be a better me, and always grow to be a better person. Thank you to my friends and family for reminding me how blessed I am and to not take them all for granted.

On to my good moments:

1. Lunch with Serena – was a pleasure talking to her and getting to know her

2. Communicating my feelings and learning to separate away from my self-doubt

3. Dinner with my kids – how adorable are they! They treated me to Cheesecake and paid for me ๐Ÿ™‚

Now I must read “Word Smart” and get smart ๐Ÿ™‚

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Last Day as a 25 Year Old

It’s weird to think that today is the last day that I will be 25. Life is constantly moving and changing and growing, nothing ever is the same. Ha, you know what’s funny, the only constant in life…is change. I think back to my life a year ago, and in that one year, things have changed so much. I am growing, learning, changing. I had many ups and downs, but the biggest thing is I have learned so much more about me and my strengths, as well as my weaknesses (which I believe will make me stronger).

I think I need this time to reflect on my life and what I have done. More specifically on the last year. I don’t think we take enough time to think about what we, individually, have accomplished or even failed at. I know I have this uncanny ability to find a negative in everything I do, which is surprising ironic, considering that this blog is all about finding the good moments in each of my day. So, I need to break down this piece so that I can stay organized and really discuss how the last year was for me.

Here are my sections: Challenges & Accomplishments, What I have Learned About Me, and What Do I Want to Achieve in the Next Year

Challenges and Accomplishments: I can’t separate these two because many of my failures are connected to accomplishments and successes, and vice versa.

Curriculum for Our Program

This has been a huge project on my plate for the last year, and I have so many feelings about this project. It has brought out the best and worst in me. When I started (let’s just go with the day I turned 25) I took on the challenge of writing the curriculum for our program and it wasn’t easy. I think the big challenge that I faced was learning to be patient, being clear on my vision, and really breaking down my plan and setting small benchmarks/deadlines. I faced a lot of emotional hurdles as well, lots of tears and lots of gray hairs. I have never doubted myself more than with this project, but I also learned so much about myself, that if I focused on something and created a game plan I can achieve anything. I cannot articulate my emotions about this project, just that it was a challenge for me, and a challenge that I believe I overcame. I think I make this out to be more dramatic then necessary, but it was very eye openingย experienceย for myself.

The GREs

Ah, this was another uphill battle for myself. I don’t think I gave this my all to be honest. I think that I accomplished a lot on this challenge, I really did dedicate myself and was not as swayed by temptations as I once was in college. I kept focus, though I know I can change my way so studying to be more effective. I was proud of myself for being able to stay home on a friday or saturday night to study. I am taking the GREs next year and I feel like I know where I struggle and where I can improve.

Applying to ASPIRE

I’m starting to feel like I have focusing on a lot of challenges, but each challenge taught me so much. Studying for the GREs AND working on an intense application is not the smartest decision. I basically worked on this application for two weeks and I was not happy with my end results. I know I can do much better and I know my writing style was sub par, but I learned not to put my eggs in one basket.

Finishing My Self-Portrait Painting

I am so proud of myself for finishing my “Self-Portrait” painting. It is also hanging in my room. I think it has taken me about a year to start and finish. Each layer was thought out and carefully executed. The vision of this painting came to me in my dreams, I kid you not. I remember dreaming about purple, gold, flowers, and a poem and I realized that it all had to come together. The finishing of this painting has inspired me to start more, which I have and I am so excited about. I am still critical and careful in my execution but more inspired with the confidence in my vision

Being Me

So this is not a complete accomplishment but a start to a goal. I have to give credit to my relationship. I have been open and honest in my thoughts and feelings and has made me more aware of who I am as a person. I am still learning to be me and I learning about who I am as a person. Each day, month, year, and moment I learn something new. Being in a relationship where I can be completely myself, crazy emotional, happy and goofy, klutzy, lazy, excited, whatever I am, is amazing because it allows me to see that I am a person that can be loved, and honestly be loved by me. Each time I open my heart, I open it up to myself.

Project 2011 – Get Fit!

I am so proud of myself for really being dedicated in the last month and half or so for really taking the steps to take care of me. I don’t think of myself as fat, but I do think of myself as out of shape. The fact that I get winded by my stairs is a problem. So I have really been good about doing what I can to make sure I can take care of me. I am slowly starting to make healthy decisions, this is a slow process and the hardest habit for me to break. I love my fried food.

Making Big Decisions for Myself

Last week I made two very big decisions, I signed up for the GREs and I signed up for a half marathon, each were a gift to myself for my Birthday. It was a necessary purchase, and one that I am proud of, because both decisions were scary for me. I knew if I did not sign up for the GREs that I would get too scared and not really apply to grad schools.

I think that’s all I can think of for right now, I am sure I will think of more, but for now, this is good. On to the next part!

What I Have Learned About Me

Oh, where do I start? This year has been a growing year for me, I feel like I am becoming more of a professional in my career field and as an adult. I am still learning to be honest and I am no where near perfect. I have learned a big lesson, that aiming for perfect is good but not doubt myself if I am not perfect. This has been the biggest battle I have faced this year, my self doubt and the strive for perfection. (sidenote: I want to finish this post before 12am!) I can’t understand where or why this self-doubt manifested, and I know that some self-doubt is okay because it allows you to constantly improve and grow, but I know my self-doubt hinders me and holds me back from being 100%.

I know that I can take things personal, because everything I do, I do with my full heart and that’s okay because it is who I am. I am an emotional person who has a hard time communicating her feelings, but that’s okay because it is who I am. I know that I push people away when I am afraid of losing them, but that’s okay because it is who I am. I know that when I am feeling down, I can call my best friends and be okay, I know that I can go home for the weekend and see my parents. I am learning to be a friend to my parents but also be a daughter. I have learned that I know family is important to me and that I would do anything to be there for them. (sidenote: and now I’m crying) I knwo that I am not a bad person, but that I am a beautiful person, inside and out, and no one, not even me, can knock me down. I know that my biggest and strongest support…is me. No one can love me as much I love me, because if I want someone to love me, I HAVE to love me, completely and unconditionally. I am a strong, beautiful, emotional, passionate woman. I am no longer that little girl, but a strong woman. I know that I can make mistakes because I am human and I am always learning.

I am so proud of me and who I am as a person, there is no other way for me to say it. Thank you God for making me who I am, with all my flaws, imperfections, and beauty. Thank you.

Goals for Next Year

1. Have faith in myself – Whatever decisions I make, whatever thoughts I have, know that I am a smart, intellectual person, and am reasonable

2. Take the GREs – I want to give this my 110%, and really make every effort I can to do well

3. Run a half marathon – When I run, I sometimes freak myself out, but I want to do something that is out of my comfort zone, and running definitely is

4. Travel internationally – I want to go somewhere, that is NOT India, and see a different part of the world.

5. Get married – PSYCH! haha had to do that one for my mom ๐Ÿ˜‰

6. Apply to Grad School….and get in!

7. Have 5 finished paintings that I can display and sell!

8. Be happy with who I am

9. Communicate my thoughts and emotions in a mature manner

10. Keep blogging

Ah, this has taken me all day to write, and I want to continue to write. I do want to say this, I think it’s time that I challenge myself again in this blog, so I will continue to write good moments, but I think one moment has to tie back to me and who I am as a person. This way, I can remind myself of all the things that I do love about me.

Thanks for reading this long post. I love you all very much and am thankful to have so many of you in my life. Gratitude is amazing and that is all I feel when I see everyone around me. So, Thank you.

Love and Peace. ๐Ÿ™‚

Get them thighs in shape!

Man, today I definitely feel the burn in my thighs. Every time I squat or get low, tuesdays are usually a tough day on my body. With yoga and 2-3 hours of volleyball, I usually can’t feel anything the next day, but I also ran yesterday (two miles, baby!) so my legs are a little sore.

I hope that I keep up with my workout schedule, I know I can do it, I have been gung ho since…March? Or was it Feb? Anyway, I am being good and I have a good group of people pushing me as well (mainly people at work who workout with me).

Anyway, I should get my good moments out!

1. A good coordinator meeting – had a lot to share, and sometimes I get a little nervous with what I am presenting, wondering if the coordinators will appreciate it or just think I’m crazy, but I felt good about it today

2. Yoga – man, today was tough, well, doing the crescent was tough, but I had this moment where I focused on spot and could hold a pose, my goal today was just to focus and stay within myself, sometimes it’s hard but it felt good

3. Volleyball – man, today we won 2 games! (well 3 including the forfeited games) I felt like I was playing A LOT better and I was there more, granted I took some tumbles and have a jammed finger (it hurts! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ) I am really happy with my progress ๐Ÿ™‚

Okay, gonna make some ramen…or lay in my bed and do nothing. But, gnite!

Treating Myself

Today I woke up with this need to do something. I have been feeling like something is missing and last week I met up with Becky and she reminded me to not give up on my dreams and goals. So I had to think about grad school again and realized I really needed to take my GREs again and get my life back on track to go back to school. I plan to use this blog as a tool to improving my vocabulary, along with my good moments, I plan to use the words I learn on a regular basis in my writing as well as my speech. Reading materials will change and I will expand my vocab.

So my birthday is coming and I decided that I needed to do something for me, and not something superficial like a dress or jewelry or anything like that, but something meaningful to me and my need for more. So I decided to sign up for the GREs and Nike Women’s Marathon (half). To fuel my brain and power my body. Like I said, it’s time I do me.

So today is a new start, and I figured the best way to start over is to do it on my birthday. Not that today is my birthday but it is my birthday month :).

Today’s good moments:

1. Signing up for the GREs and the Nike Women’s (half) Marathon – man, I am so excited and nervous for both, but I know I need to do both.

2. Spending the day with Becky – it has been awhile since she and I have had the chance to spend some time together, I’m glad that we had a good drive around SF

3. Running 2 miles – so the half marathon is 13.1 miles and today I ran 2 miles which was great, granted I ran/walked it but it was nice and it took me 21:52 ๐Ÿ™‚ which gives me a 11min/mile average ๐Ÿ™‚

Today was a good day, now I’m going to do some work and hit the sack.

Exhausted

What a weekend, I think my legs have lost all ability to hold my weight. i can’t even function. This post, unfortunately, will be super short. Though I have a lot on my mind.

Friday, April 8:

1. Michelle and I waking up at 6am to move the Family Wagon, to only go back to bed because I was exhausted

2. Using contact paper to cover a ten foot sign, though absolutely frustrating and annoying, created some hilarious moments ๐Ÿ™‚

3. A nice hike with Michelle, Dax, and I at Lands End, which was quite lovely. The sun shine on the ocean is unmistakably beautiful

Saturday, April 9:

1. Great way to start the morning? The pipe at work breaking off and flooding the kitchen, a very I love Lucy moment and something that I can now laugh at…I think

2. Seeing the kids get into Cherry Blossom and own the event!

3. Getting home and laying in my bed after a long day at Cherry Blossom

Sunday, April 10:

1. Eating a delicious play of Yakosabo – Japanese Fried Noodles (vegetarian)

2. Catching a couple of balls in football – thanks Lats for throwing the ball to me, sorry for missing the TD pass

3. Laying in my bed after waking up at 7am and working Cherry Blossom until 1230pm and then playing football for another hour and then going back to Cherry Blossom to close down.

Okay, gnite.

Quick update

It’s getting late and I was doing work but I really wanted to post my good moments from today.

1. Making my deadlines and getting ahead on my workload

2. Walk with Larry – grabbed some food with Larry and it was nice catching up

3. Nisha being a chaperone for our University day – thanks for caring about the future ๐Ÿ˜‰

Okay, for real, bed time!!

Workout pains

Man, working out causes pain. I like that soreness but I am never used to it. Hannah has been awesome in helping me with my abs workout, granted its once a week right now, my fault, not hers. BUT, this week will be two times! Abs workout tomorrow!

I feel good today, mainly because I have a plan in my head and I can get it done. I want to work outside of the office because I am so much more productive, but I feel like I will miss out on things if I am not in the office. I need to get better at zoning people, situations, and noises out.

Anyway, on to my good moments from yesterday!

Wednesday, April 6:

1. Ab workout in the AM – ah it feels good, the burn!

2. Hanging out with some of the CITs at Horizons – they are such a fun group, very mature for their age.

3. Supper Club – Delicious food and great conversation is always great, this time we had Hannah, Michelle, Suse, and Priya and it was fun, also the meal was Chilli Paneer with Cumin Rice!

Anyway, will update about today later today!